I'm so excited to have Amberly of A Prioritized Marriage guest posting today! She has a wealth of knowledge and advice on how to make your marriage amazing. If you don't already follow her go check out her blog! I'm posting over there today too. I hope you love her post as much as I do!
Once you have children, your marriage will never be the same. I've been hearing that statement for years now. Before we had kids, whenever someone would let me know that having kids changes your marriage, I wouldn't let myself believe them. I was determined to be different, and not to let the addition of little ones affect the relationship I have with my husband in any way. Now that we're parents, I'm forced to admit that I was wrong. Our 18 month old son and 2 month old daughter have done what I said that they would never do; they have changed our marriage. We are not the same people that we were two years ago before they came along. We are different as individuals and we are different as a couple.
Having children has brought a lot of new challenges and adventures to our lives. Some days are exciting and filled with lots of laughter, and others are rough and filled with tears and frustration. Whenever someone would tell me that children would change my marriage, it always felt like they meant it in a negative way. Some days are a struggle and the sleep deprivation and added stresses cause more tension, but the positives definitely outweigh the negatives.
Once you have children, your marriage will never be the same. I've been hearing that statement for years now. Before we had kids, whenever someone would let me know that having kids changes your marriage, I wouldn't let myself believe them. I was determined to be different, and not to let the addition of little ones affect the relationship I have with my husband in any way. Now that we're parents, I'm forced to admit that I was wrong. Our 18 month old son and 2 month old daughter have done what I said that they would never do; they have changed our marriage. We are not the same people that we were two years ago before they came along. We are different as individuals and we are different as a couple.
Having children has brought a lot of new challenges and adventures to our lives. Some days are exciting and filled with lots of laughter, and others are rough and filled with tears and frustration. Whenever someone would tell me that children would change my marriage, it always felt like they meant it in a negative way. Some days are a struggle and the sleep deprivation and added stresses cause more tension, but the positives definitely outweigh the negatives.
Your love will multiply
When I was pregnant with baby number two, I would look at my little boy and wonder how I could possibly love another as much as him. I've had friends who are considering having kids express concerns about having to share the love that, until now, has been completely reserved for their husband. With each child, my heart has grown, kind of like the Grinch on Christmas morning, and I have more than enough love to share with my entire family. Becoming a mom didn't make me love my husband less, it made me love him more!
You will learn to be more intentional
Before we became parents, we were busy, but our schedules and our time were dictated by us. Now our lives revolve around two little ones who rely on us for all of their needs. For every minute of nap time and every minute between their bedtime and ours, we have to be intentional about what we're doing. With both of us working full time, we also have to be intentional with the time that we have to spend together as a family and with our kids. When we make every moment count, we are finding ways to make our marriage a priority and strengthening the relationship that we have with each other.
You will become a stronger team
In the six years that my husband and I have been together, we've become a strong and cohesive team in a lot of different areas of our lives. We've paid off all of our debt and gotten on the same page financially, worked together to renovate our house and make it a home, supported each other in our own personal business endeavors and now we're raising two little ones together. Together we have been able to overcome obstacles as well as celebrate our accomplishments. Tackling everything as a team has deepened our connection and increased the love that we have for each other.
You will appreciate the time you have together
Our time spending quality time alone together is limited now more than ever. While our youngest was in the NICU, we realized just how much we were going to have to work to find time to work on our marriage. All of the time that we were spending together was spent taking care of our kids or the other responsibilities that are part of life. Having limited time to spend having fun and working on our relationship together has made rituals like date night that much more important to us. Whether it's holding hands and cuddling while we watch a show on Netflix, or putting our phones away so that we can talk and connect during dinner, we try not to take that time for granted.
You will see your spouse in a new light
I didn't think I could love my husband more, but that changed when he became a dad. Seeing the way our toddler looks up to his dad and watching the two of the interact makes my heart melt. The first time he held our daughter, they had an instant bond and my heart melted even more. He has a such a tenderness for our kids and when he is playing with them, I get a glimpse of his little kid heart. I learn new things about my man every day, both as my spouse and as a father.
You get to choose how you are going to let your new role as a parent affect your new role as a spouse. The attitude that you choose to have will determine your future as a married couple. Children bring new challenges that at times can be rough, but your children will also be one of the most rewarding things that you do together!
You might also enjoy reading; Parenting Can Strengthen Your Marriage and Our Families and Marriages Matter.
Amberly
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